"In programs of peer learning by officers in the military, it is clear that those in training are expected to be contributors, not complainers. It is an important and necessary distinction. There are those who will complain and remain passive, waiting for the institution to ease their burden and solve their problems."
Gil Rendle
Back to Zero - the Search to Rediscover the Methodist Movement
Part of my summer reading focuses on the state of the church and church renewal. Gil Rendle offers helpful insight for those who love the church, who recognize there is indisputable need for change in the church, and who are willing to participate in that change no matter how challenging it may be or how uncomfortable it is. I count myself in this number.
The above quote about the difference between "contributors" and "complainers" made me both smile and wince. I smiled because I can readily "Amen" such a statement. I clearly get the logic that we can be part of the solution or part of the problem. And belly-aching about the church or the conference or some mystical un-named "they" or "them" out there somewhere will never be fruitful or productive or helpful.
But it sure can be be fun!
Alas. That's where my wincing came in....
In another life (not a Shirley McLain kind of other life) I was an insurance agent. It was a short, four month career that provided a brief resume bridge, ending a period of unemployment and continuing until I begin my broadcasting career (another one my lives).
I was hired as an agent in the Asheboro office of a fairly large insurance company. After a couple of months, the Asheboro office was closed, which meant we would travel to meet once a week in the High Point office. It was decided that we would also stay in touch by meeting for breakfast once a week at a local Asheboro restaurant.
And that's where it started.
We didn't like losing our home base office in Asheboro. We didn't like having to meet once a week in High Point. We didn't feel as if we were being treated fairly. And breakfast became a great place to vent, to complain, to mourn and wail. And we got pretty darned good at it.
And it sure was fun!
Looking back on those days, I think I was able to complain with the best of them. Though today I recognize that being around chronic hand-wringers really can suck the life out of my soul, back then in the midst of it, I found a strange comfort in cultivating my innate hand-wringing skills while seated at the table of other like-minded lament-ers, who were as convinced as I, that we were getting royally screwed!
And as much comfort as I found in participating in those glorious weekly complaining concerts, and as entertaining as it was poking fun at the obvious clueless-ness of management, the downward spiraling of my commissions eventually caught my eye. And I began to see a direct correlation between my constant state of complaining, my growing "woe is me" posturing, and my decreasing motivation for being a good, successful and fruitful insurance agent.
And then one day at breakfast, somewhere between my second and seventh cup of coffee, I repented! Like the prodigal son of Luke chapter 15, I "came to myself." I began to think that maybe I had wallowed in the miry bog of despair long enough. I realized that I was taking as much poison into my soul as coffee into my stomach. I recognized that my constant complaining and bickering and blaming was not doing anything to change anything, it wasn't producing any healthy attitudes or behaviors, it wasn't bearing any positive or valuable fruit in me or through me.
Here's what I learned from that experience. Complaining is contagious. Sometimes it just takes one negative voice at the table to turn the tide. And, for whatever reason (maybe its Sin?), we tend to hop on a negative bandwagon more quickly than anything other kind. It just seems more fun! And there does seem to be a kind of twisted / perverted pleasure in a passive-aggressive sort of, "I'm not going to do anything to help, but I'm going to blame every body else" hand-wringing in the midst of other people wringing their hands. Misery does indeed love company!
And if you constantly surround yourself with negative nay-sayers, habitual hand-wringers and frequent finger-pointers, trust me - you will drink the kool-aide, and your spirit will be poisoned.
If this describes where you are these days, it may time to eat at a different table!
Listen! Please take it from me, a recovering complainer. Nothing good will come from constant, chronic belly-aching and finger-pointing. It was true for a group of disgruntled, displaced, insurance agents - it's true for any other work environment - it's true for families - it's true for the church!
So....here's to casting off whatever remnant of the "complainer" remains in your spirit - and taking up the mantle of "contributor." Here's to refusing to play the blame-game and avoid finger-pointing. Here's to doing something constructive, helpful, healthy and fruitful.
Here's to making a positive difference in your home, at your work, in the church and in the world.
Now......don't you feel better already?
Grace and Peace!
Pastor Randy
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